The Kingdom of Marchiaa is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Sanda von Roi with an iron fist, and renowned for its closed borders, zero percent divorce rate, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.26 billion Marchians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aurudo. The average income tax rate is 60.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Marchian economy, worth 256 trillion Assems a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 113,677 Assems, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Sanda von Roi's throne, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, after every storm there's an expensive government-funded rainbow, and many suspect that the 'Whinny The Plop' children's magazine contains covert criticism of Sanda von Roi. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Marchiaa's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Fulgurianism.

Marchiaa is ranked 3,108^th in the world and 171^st in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring 154.89 on the Scary Big Number Scale.