The Grand Holy Imperial Empire of General Mike is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Imperial Über Kaisführer Michael I with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ritual sacrifices, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 40.83 billion Michaels are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mikegrad. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Michaean economy, worth an astonishing 13,799 trillion hyperinflated dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 337,977 hyperinflated dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", a degree of self-hatred is vital for a future in politics, Imperial Über Kaisführer Michael I's opponents have adopted dogs to chase away the mailman, and all the playground's a stage for Michaean schoolchildren. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. General Mike's national animal is the Vietcong, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is some sort of cult.

General Mike is ranked 287,731^st in the world and 11,188^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -524.51 on the Scary Big Number Scale.