The Mighty War Machine of Harperians is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mr Harp with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, zero percent divorce rate, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 29.913 billion Harpers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shanty Town. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Harper economy, worth a remarkable 4,032 trillion Harperers a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 134,807 Harperers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doctors accused of having no heart reply that cardiology isn't their speciality, Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night, and corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Harperians's national animal is the Guitaroo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Diddlydonk.

Harperians is ranked 3,920^th in the world and 61^st in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 122.68 law-abiding acts per hour.