The United People's Herd of Goat Republic is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Eros Faelix Kazeno with an iron fist, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, zero percent divorce rate, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.664 billion Goatians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Katsika. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Goatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,114 trillion Guldbocks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 304,161 Guldbocks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 917,974 per year while the poor average 78,520, a ratio of 11.7 to 1.

Lottery winners spend most of their money on security, military instructors tire of being asked for another bedtime story by seven-year-old conscripts, the country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources, and the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goat Republic's national animal is the Goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Vast Personality Cult of the Leader.

Goat Republic is ranked 2,733^rd in the world and 40^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 133.86 law-abiding acts per hour.