by Max Barry

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Most Valuable International Artwork: 559thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,431stMost Influential: 2,971st
The Free Land of
Corrupt Dictatorship
Clang Clang
Influence
Squire
Region
Civil Rights
Average
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Few

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Jail Guitar Doors

Population2.16 billion

CapitalClash City
LeaderRitchie

CurrencyWampum
AnimalPossum

The Free Land of Jail Guitar Doors is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Ritchie with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 2.16 billion Rockers are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clash City. The average income tax rate is 84.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jail Guitar Doorsian economy, worth 274 trillion Wampums a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 126,995 Wampums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The consent form for routine blood pressure measurement has been nominated for the 'Novel Of The Year' award, women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Rockers any less frightened. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jail Guitar Doors's national animal is the Possum, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Jail Guitar Doors is ranked 7,703rd in the world and 60th in Refugia for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,853.58 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 559thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,431stTop
5%
Most Influential: 2,971stLargest Welfare Programs: 3,213thMost Pacifist: 3,639thBest Weather: 4,009thNicest Citizens: 4,083rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 4,156thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,528thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,703rdLongest Average Lifespans: 5,456thHealthiest Citizens: 5,641stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,919thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7,543rdMost Inclusive: 7,604thMost Beautiful Environments: 7,703rdSafest: 8,061stHighest Food Quality: 8,201stLowest Crime Rates: 9,118thMost Developed: 10,154thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,602ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,529thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,488thLargest Agricultural Sector: 13,459thSmartest Citizens: 13,874thMost Secular: 14,546thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 14,948thHighest Average Tax Rates: 15,028thHighest Poor Incomes: 15,336thLargest Governments: 15,747thMost Cultured: 17,262ndMost Subsidized Industry: 18,178thMost Advanced Public Transport: 18,733rdMost Efficient Economies: 20,565thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 23,541stMost Scientifically Advanced: 27,531st
Top
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 10th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 10th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 13th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 24th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 33rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 33rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 37th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 37th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 38th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 38th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Jail Guitar Doors was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Jail Guitar Doors was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements and the Top 5% for Most Inclusive, Most Beautiful Environments, Highest Foreign Aid Spending, and Most Influential.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Rockers any less frightened.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, women give birth underneath so many blankets that the doctor can't feel the bump.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, the consent form for routine blood pressure measurement has been nominated for the 'Novel Of The Year' award.
  • : Jail Guitar Doors was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, nursing mothers are often arrested for indecent exposure.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, the government is hoping that medical aid will speak louder than human rights abuses.
  • : Following new legislation in Jail Guitar Doors, legitimate job descriptions now include "smiling and waving".

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