The Free Land of Kalaratri is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Stjepan Filipović with an even hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 11.302 billion Kalaratrianis enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Užupis. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kalaratrianian economy, worth a remarkable 2,652 trillion Kelantanese dinars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 234,711 Kelantanese dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women across the country are tying the knot, mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined, the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, and ADHD now stands for Attention Distracted by Hardware Devices. Crime is totally unknown. Kalaratri's national animal is the Rattenkönig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Eternalux.

Kalaratri is ranked 6,157^th in the world and 156^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 111.53 law-abiding acts per hour.