The Commonwealth of Appelovich is a very large, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 139 million Appelovichians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 24.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Appelovichian economy, worth 8.43 trillion Apples a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 60,662 Apples, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, belief that Leader is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high, viewers get headaches from trying to read the screen full of small print warnings that precede most TV shows, and tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Appelovich's national animal is the Giraffe, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Appelovich is ranked 110,002^nd in the world and 2,385^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.85 law-abiding acts per hour.