The United Federation of The Free Falklands is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Stanford Stanley with an even hand, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, aversion to nipples, and otherworldly petting zoo. The quiet, industrious population of 3.259 billion Free Falklandsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Falksburg. The average income tax rate is 75.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Free Falklandsian economy, worth 363 trillion Falks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,666 Falks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Gossip magazines have pictures of Stanford Stanley sunbathing on the beach with political rivals, sworn provincial enemies must be held back in Stanford Stanley's cabinet meetings, a referendum must be held in order for any new law to be passed, and holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Free Falklands's national animal is the Sheep, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Stanfordtism.

The Free Falklands is ranked 46,922^nd in the world and 1,030^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 75.22 law-abiding acts per hour.