The Disputed Territories of Goldnation is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Bob Loblaw with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 3.408 billion Goldies are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Belleville. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Goldnationian economy, worth 439 trillion bullions a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 128,871 bullions, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, weight loss clubs that guarantee losing a stone a month are talking about misplacing rocks, the government is under the thumb of countless special interests, and teenage male videogamers often suffer repetitive strain wrist injuries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Goldnation's national animal is the mongoose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Goldnation is ranked 5,432^nd in the world and 128^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 114.73 law-abiding acts per hour.