The Constitutional Monarchy of Asscrackistanistan is a very large, safe nation, notable for its suspicion of poets and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 121 million Asscrackistanistanians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 21.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Asscrackistanistanian economy, worth 6.54 trillion Banovacs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 54,085 Banovacs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, and country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asscrackistanistan's national animal is the Marten.

Asscrackistanistan is ranked 190,226^th in the world and 3,567^th in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 11.33 average smiles per day.