The Empire of Greygard is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Arcturus Nott with an even hand, and renowned for its soft-spoken computers, national health service, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.883 billion Greygardians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astonia. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Greygardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,922 trillion Drakons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 138,452 Drakons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Greygardians suffer not the eggplant emoji to live, employers are keenest on employees who lack family values, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow, and mountain rescue missions can end with more people lost than found. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Greygard's national animal is the Brown Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Greygard is ranked 285,609^th in the world and 11,005^th in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -447.21 on the Scary Big Number Scale.