The Republic of Nordwald is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Bundeskanzler Lutz Ostwalder with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, ubiquitous missile silos, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.75 billion Nordwaldians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Südwaldstadt. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordwaldian economy, worth a remarkable 1,130 trillion Walders a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 196,668 Walders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sly spies try to rely on national allies so that they don't die, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Bundeskanzler Lutz Ostwalder's bedroom, they say the best compromise leaves everyone feeling a little unarmed, and the nation is relieved that all of the recent madness has finally come to an end. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordwald's national animal is the Baummarder, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nordwald is ranked 5,190^th in the world and 227^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 166 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.