The Unfriendly Zombie Land of Kwaj is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Amata Kabua with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, national health service, and fear of technology. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 15.234 billion Kwajians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coral Sands. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kwajian economy, worth a remarkable 2,891 trillion Clams a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 189,805 Clams, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

In a baffling press conference Amata Kabua proudly dismantled a broken door, it is technically inaccurate to call the dead 'worm food', criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and candlelit dinners are less romantic with a flickering LED. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kwaj's national animal is the Hermit Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is The Almighty Atomic Overlord.

Kwaj is ranked 1,196^th in the world and 55^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 164.29 law-abiding acts per hour.