The Confederacy of Vallis Poenina is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Helvetia with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 3.514 billion Vallis Poeninans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sedunum. The average income tax rate is 36.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong Vallis Poeninan economy, worth 199 trillion francs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,686 francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jokes told in elementary school often come back to haunt politicians, government officials frequently cut taxes as a distraction from antics with their secretaries, drowning sailors are hung out to dry, and people typically base their votes on which party has the cutest logo. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vallis Poenina's national animal is the St Bernard dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The National Bank.

Vallis Poenina is ranked 95,418^th in the world and 162^nd in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -0.53 on the Scary Big Number Scale.