The Allied States of Scandinavics is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, frequent executions, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, democratic population of 949 million Scandinavicians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of watermelon. The average income tax rate is 27.4%.

The thriving Scandinavicsian economy, worth 79.5 trillion Euros a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 83,747 Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, open-casket funerals are avoided at all cost, Leader has been seen stealthily slicing fifths off bread loaves, and watermelon has become the number one destination for urban exploration in the South Pacific. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Scandinavics's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Scandinavics is ranked 194,625^th in the world and 3,516^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -78.74 on the Scary Big Number Scale.