The Republic of Heistanstan is a very large, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its state-planned economy, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate. The quiet, industrious population of 142 million Heistanstanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 68.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but sluggish Heistanstanian economy, worth 2.86 trillion francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Trout Farming and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 20,141 francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Popular websites like NationStates are blocked for "national security", this year's comedy award has left mothers-in-law seething, collisions between bicycles and carnival floats are on the rise, and prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heistanstan's national animal is the cobra, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Heistanstan is ranked 50,478^th in the world and 1,604^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 72 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.