The United Socialist States of Azmenistanian is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Joseph anaruc with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, aversion to nipples, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 898 million Azmenistanianians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xastorph. The average income tax rate is 61.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Azmenistanianian economy, worth 93.6 trillion Azmen Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 104,210 Azmen Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, and toddler groups have taken over local libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Azmenistanian's national animal is the maned Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Azmenistanian is ranked 238,864^th in the world and 5,306^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 2.76 average smiles per day.