The Republic of Topsonia is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working, cynical population of 574 million Topsons are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Topson. The average income tax rate is 25.5%.

The strong Topsonian economy, worth 32.9 trillion marts a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Arms Manufacturing, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 57,270 marts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, artists attempt to convince the Hardship Fund that their unmade bed is a masterpiece, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, and Topsonia has designated Topson as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Topsonia's national animal is the horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Topsonia is ranked 125,886^th in the world and 2,712^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.27 law-abiding acts per hour.