The Republic of Lowelian is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Mr President with a fair hand, and notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.338 billion Lowelianians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lowelia. The average income tax rate is 35.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Lowelianian economy, worth 782 trillion Bitcoins a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 106,583 Bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

The blood, sweat, and tears of poor Lowelianians make research institutes rich, crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, airship use has soared while property values beneath their routes have plummeted, and stale 'yo mamma' insults have been replaced by 'your maternal DNA' insults. Crime is totally unknown. Lowelian's national animal is the Puppy, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lowelian is ranked 113,391^st in the world and 2,451^st in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 64.33 law-abiding acts per hour.