The Incorporated States of Alestadpolkhbizzydor is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Joseph Stalin with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.699 billion Alestadpolkhbizzydorians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alestadpolkhbizzydor City. The average income tax rate is 82.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Alestadpolkhbizzydorian economy, worth 372 trillion Florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 219,278 Florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews, blasphemers and government critics often die in very unusual and unlikely accidents, the government spends twice as much reclaiming lost settlements from the sea as it could've on coastal defences, and Alestadpolkhbizzydorian soldiers are assured their new ray-guns will finally power up after the next round of ominous chanting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alestadpolkhbizzydor's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Communism.

Alestadpolkhbizzydor is ranked 291,614^th in the world and 6,415^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 31 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.