The Unironic Monarchist of Depressive-State is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its ubiquitous missile silos, public floggings, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 627 million Depressive-Stateans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of VoxTek Enterprises. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 36.5%.

The thriving Depressive-Statean economy, worth 58.1 trillion Whiskey Bottles a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 92,655 Whiskey Bottles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 447,017 per year while the poor average 11,165, a ratio of 40.0 to 1.

Loss of the ability to speak is a common affliction of the elderly, getting a haircut is a punishable offence, families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up, and a mountain of discarded sofas and beds is incinerated every day. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Depressive-State's national animal is the Anti-Monarchist, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Depressive-State is ranked 155,276^th in the world and 3,848^th in The North Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 1,458.08 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.