The Grand Duchy of Satilynia is a huge, safe nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 210 million Satilynians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.7%.

The very strong Satilynian economy, worth 11.9 trillion Satalinas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 56,725 Satalinas, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

The Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry, going on a diet invalidates your passport, the Satilynian Intelligence Agency has put 'Project Quantum Refrigerator' on hold indefinitely, and fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Satilynia's national animal is the Kinkajou, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Satilynia is ranked 216,485^th in the world and 4,123^rd in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 8.23 average smiles per day.