The Monorarchist Confederation of The Culinary State of Half-Jordi is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Monarch Mimtislav ŽakoviÄ with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, digital currency, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.054 billion Culinary State of Half-Jordians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Great City of Derian. The average income tax rate is 47.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Culinary State of Half-Jordian economy, worth 81.5 trillion Markovskiy bitcons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Tourism. Average income is 77,353 Markovskiy bitcons, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

NPCs in MMORPGs regularly interrupt cutscenes with OOC reminders that they aren't real people, the wreckages of bombed planes that litter The Culinary State of Half-Jordi are highly popular tourist destinations, Monarch Mimtislav ŽakoviÄ's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, and the monarchy has adopted absolute primogeniture. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Culinary State of Half-Jordi's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Chryslamb.

The Culinary State of Half-Jordi is ranked 25,348^th in the world and 642^nd in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 20.42 average smiles per day.