The United Kingdom of The Two Jerseys is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by HM King Louis with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, hatred of cheese, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 25.88 billion Caesareans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Princeton. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Caesarean economy, worth a remarkable 3,878 trillion Caesarean Pounds a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,874 Caesarean Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Signs at the border tell international drivers where they can put their cars, mystics are claiming that a simultaneous rise in scepticism and education budgets is correlation rather than causation, no one is quite sure what many government officials look like, and political speeches always take place at sunset to a background of patriotic power ballads. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Two Jerseys's national animal is the Crocodile, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

The Two Jerseys is ranked 2,999^th in the world and 67^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 130.35 law-abiding acts per hour.