The Constitutional Monarchy of Firtopia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Haggard with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.074 billion Firtopians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Westwood. The average income tax rate is 72.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Firtopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,617 trillion Dullies a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 107,326 Dullies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The name of the "Butcher of Bigtopia" adorns shirts across Firtopia, evasive politicians don't fail to strongly commit to not committing to a course of non-inaction, home renovation projects take decades to complete, and tourists need only sign on the dotted line to become citizens. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Firtopia's national animal is the Broad-Billed Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Firtopia is ranked 20,603^rd in the world and 414^th in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 7,926.32 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.