The Colony of Tea Jol is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Mr Moyer with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, frequent executions, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.547 billion Tea Jolians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galapagos. The average income tax rate is 75.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tea Jolian economy, worth 749 trillion kronor a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 164,770 kronor, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Ratings for sitcom reruns are often much higher than election debates, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?", businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders, and the contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Tea Jol. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tea Jol's national animal is the Boa constrictor, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tea Jol is ranked 6,086^th in the world and 152^nd in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 111.96 law-abiding acts per hour.