The Welfarist Wardenate of Pakitsk is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Vûlakìs Avēlôs Pârkōv with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, absence of drug laws, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 14.128 billion Pakotskì enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Võlatsk. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Pakatska economy, worth a remarkable 4,038 trillion danirtsks a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 285,856 danirtsks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Spoiler warnings are now given out before political speeches, the installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused, married couples must call each other "darling" or risk a fine, and high school band practice is often crashed by technicolor-clad ravers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pakitsk's national animal is the marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Welfarism.

Pakitsk is ranked 336^th in the world and 6^th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 217.91 law-abiding acts per hour.