The Federal Republic of GI-Land is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Leader and King Gianluca IV with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 16.379 billion Gianlucians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Atlantis. The average income tax rate is 86.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse GI-Landian economy, worth a remarkable 1,294 trillion Gianlucian Tacks a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 79,046 Gianlucian Tacks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work, the government has begun breaking all large businesses into thousands of mom-and-pop general stores, bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, and films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. GI-Land's national animal is the Phoenix-Cat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

GI-Land is ranked 22,623^rd in the world and 503^rd in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.67 law-abiding acts per hour.