The Empire Kingdom Domain of Noyans is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Nonoy Sasi with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, fear of technology, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.56 billion Noyansians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cerali. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Noyansian economy, worth 214 trillion Ramcies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 137,207 Ramcies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 414,098 per year while the poor average 35,420, a ratio of 11.7 to 1.

Criminals are thrown to the Noyansian Eagles to repay their debt to society, lottery winners spend most of their money on security, drivers regularly pull over for nonexistent police cars, and there is a heavy social stigma attached to e-cigarettes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noyans's national animal is the Noyansian Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Doctrinal God of Nonoy Sasi.

Noyans is ranked 21,607^th in the world and 855^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 90 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.