The Pink Holy Lucky Christmas of Izern is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Santa Claus with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working population of 2.921 billion Santa Clauses have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yggdrassil. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Izernian economy, worth 441 trillion Candy Cane Gold Bars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 151,071 Candy Cane Gold Bars, with the richest citizens earning 5.5 times as much as the poorest.

Access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery, endangered species are effective hostages against the Izernian military, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, and nature magazines featuring stick insects on their covers are sometimes mistaken for fashion magazines. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Izern's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Athyism.

Izern is ranked 28,270^th in the world and 1,013^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 83.78 law-abiding acts per hour.