The Caliphate of Packilvania is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Noi with an iron fist, and renowned for its infamous sell-swords, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 41.206 billion Packilvanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hikaruton. The average income tax rate is 99.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Packilvanian economy, worth an astonishing 12,385 trillion Packels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 300,578 Packels, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and the Hikaruton Film Festival recently voted 'Packilvanian Getting Hit By Football' as best film. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Packilvania's national animal is the Arkane, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Packilvania is ranked 5,661^st in the world and 131^st in The East Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,556.46 on the Clooney Contribution Index.