The Vizier of Asendavia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Hjalmar XVIII with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, anti-smoking policies, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.781 billion Asendavians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strömhärad. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Asendavian economy, worth a remarkable 4,647 trillion Jade Nudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 276,936 Jade Nudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The dessert 'Death by Chocolate' isn't the most lethal dish on the menu, few that venture into government archives are ever seen again, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD, and ghost regiments exist only on paper. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asendavia's national animal is the Gyoruna, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ademarism.

Asendavia is ranked 167,897^th in the world and 3,167^th in The East Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 73.15 on the Clooney Contribution Index.