The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, ban on automobiles, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, democratic, devout population of 1.003 billion Clocriestesians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 68.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Clocriestesian economy, worth 95.5 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,164 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes, if foreigners can hit a spittoon from five paces they get a free holiday to Clocriestes, the recently bereaved have plenty of time to mourn during their incarcerations, and wind farms are erected on shuttered oil platforms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Clocriestes is ranked 106,984^th in the world and 3,015^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 66 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.