The Constitutional Monarchy of Clocriestes is a huge, safe nation, ruled by Gabe Caldiri with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, devout population of 970 million Clocriestesians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Abbotsford. The average income tax rate is 68.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Clocriestesian economy, worth 91.4 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,272 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors, gift baskets often contain working nukes, the only film released this month was "Prayervengers: Heresy War", and the atmosphere in Clocriestesian boardrooms is turning more gay. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Clocriestes's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Clocriestes is ranked 55,403^rd in the world and 1,706^th in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.91 law-abiding acts per hour.