The Commonwealth of Coffin dancers is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by the Dancing Pallbearers with an even hand, and notable for its triple-decker prams, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.012 billion Coffin dancersians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Accra. The average income tax rate is 43.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Coffin dancersian economy, worth 285 trillion robuxes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Soda Sales industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,651 robuxes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend, ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications, farm turkeys are given high doses of antidepressants to take their minds off the holiday season, and government policies change at the drop of a rabbit. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coffin dancers's national animal is the roblox guest, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coffin dancers is ranked 224,012^th in the world and 4,475^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -100.28 on the Scary Big Number Scale.