The Grand Duchy of Eurgenburg is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.026 billion Eurgenburgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 63.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Eurgenburgian economy, worth 121 trillion Rials a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 118,541 Rials, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 413,762 per year while the poor average 24,704, a ratio of 16.7 to 1.

The government seizes all major gold finds, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, pet owners make sure their dogs wear diapers, and teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eurgenburg's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Eurgenburg is ranked 239,769^th in the world and 4,817^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -125.82 on the Scary Big Number Scale.