The Republic of Kalilola is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Egor from New-Kaminola with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.208 billion Kalilolans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New-Kaminola. The average income tax rate is 70.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kalilolan economy, worth 692 trillion Kalolian hryvnias a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 132,877 Kalolian hryvnias, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Purported secret military bases are dismissed by Egor from New-Kaminola to be highly-advanced toilet factories, no one is quite sure what many government officials look like, bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls, and coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kalilola's national animal is the kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kalilola is ranked 22,444^th in the world and 492^nd in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 87.92 law-abiding acts per hour.