The August Bastion of Jaegerpondonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Jaeger Sylva with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, sprawling nuclear power plants, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 4.606 billion Jaegerpondonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sylvania. The average income tax rate is 35.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jaegerpondonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,038 trillion bits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 225,440 bits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Where there's a will there is usually a password manager, powerful x-ray machines used by the Customs Department can see into the homes of nearby residents, organised sports are frowned upon as frivolous, and telling someone to 'break a leg' is considered a criminal inducement to self harm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaegerpondonia's national animal is the Earth Pony, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Invisible Pink Unicornism.

Jaegerpondonia is ranked 14,803^rd in the world and 183^rd in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.5 law-abiding acts per hour.