The Global Empire of DeNorSweLand is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Cygnus Schwarz with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate population of 9.529 billion Denorswelandians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Swanson. The average income tax rate is 82.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient DeNorSweLandian economy, worth a remarkable 2,329 trillion feathers a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Tourism, Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 244,464 feathers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Power stations shutting down at night has made bedtime reading tricky, motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams, and gambling is outlawed. Crime is totally unknown. DeNorSweLand's national animal is the Black Swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cygnetism.

DeNorSweLand is ranked 282,557^th in the world and 1,291^st in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -379.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.