The Kingdom of Calicov is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jurich Von Licenstein IV with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, avant-garde cinema, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed population of 1.403 billion Calicovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Calconiea Prime. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Calicovian economy, worth 173 trillion Calconiean Rupies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 123,514 Calconiean Rupies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia, and monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calicov's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Neko.

Calicov is ranked 271,867^th in the world and 1,159^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -252.49 on the Scary Big Number Scale.