The Noocratic Republic of Mally Piznoopia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Zeno of Citium with an even hand, and notable for its digital currency, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.001 billion freethinkers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 83.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Piznoopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,153 trillion Pizns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 230,683 Pizns, with the richest citizens earning 8.7 times as much as the poorest.

Agricultural science is the most competitive subject at universities, homeowners are evicted to make way for new runways, businesses are abandoning the city centre because of the lack of transport connections, and Piznoopian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Zeno of Citium. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mally Piznoopia's national animal is the Great Blue Heron, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Stoicism.

Mally Piznoopia is ranked 291,736^th in the world and 1,460^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -830.44 on the Scary Big Number Scale.