The Mr Tambourine Man of New Eestiball is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Ann O'Nymous with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.17 billion Estonians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tallinn. The average income tax rate is 99.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Estonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,670 trillion propans a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 232,915 propans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail, the government subsidizes everything from particle physics to fabric softeners, and human pie shops continue to receive shipments of meat from Spleeny Rodd's. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Eestiball's national animal is the bobcat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Yahlism.

New Eestiball is ranked 291,541^st in the world and 1,453^rd in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -775.81 on the Scary Big Number Scale.