The Enlightened Nation of Elestansa is a huge, genial nation, ruled by Anatolie Negutesco with a fair hand, and remarkable for its lack of airports, compulsory vegetarianism, and frequent executions. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 961 million Elesians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Telavograd. The average income tax rate is 92.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elesian economy, worth 83.1 trillion Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Trout Farming. Average income is 86,481 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones, all citizens must pass a 'multicultural sensitivity test' to be deemed fit for society, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elestansa's national animal is the Pigeon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Elestansa is ranked 99,252^nd in the world and 327^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -12.29 on the Scary Big Number Scale.