The Council Republic of The AbelLandia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Taco Schmidt with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, compulsory gun ownership, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 1.091 billion AbelLandians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rotterdam. The average income tax rate is 66.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming AbelLandian economy, worth 150 trillion Schurfies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 137,570 Schurfies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Holy Office of the Inquisition is the highest court in the land, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail, companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave, and the Hanging Gardens account for half of Rotterdam's water use. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. The AbelLandia's national animal is the Lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

The AbelLandia is ranked 253,693^rd in the world and 991^st in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -164.32 on the Scary Big Number Scale.