The Soulgodian Commonwealth of Zebastani is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by PM Joseph Hadmirak with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 3.356 billion Zebastanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pyro. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 12.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Zebastanian economy, worth 558 trillion Zelts a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Tourism. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 166,375 Zelts, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 785,685 per year while the poor average 20,877, a ratio of 37.6 to 1.

You can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule Zebastani but at least the trains run on time, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and families are only permitted to have one child. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zebastani's national animal is the giraffe, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Zoroastrianism.

Zebastani is ranked 60,803^rd in the world and 416^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.67 law-abiding acts per hour.