The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by William Williams with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.107 billion New New New Alabamans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Montgomery. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.5%.

The frighteningly efficient New New New Alabaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,173 trillion Stepsisters a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 192,093 Stepsisters, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

The regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, the dish 'poisson avec poison' is only available on the black market, and the request to "give us our daily bread" can only be fulfilled six days out of seven. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New New New Alabama's national animal is the Fried Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jesus.

New New New Alabama is ranked 288,713^th in the world and 6,284^th in The North Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.24 average smiles per day.