The Apathetic People's Republic of Keslataria is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Rob Robbins with an iron fist, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.389 billion Keslatarians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of *grunt* *mumble* *grunt*. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Keslatarian economy, worth 626 trillion Mehs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 142,773 Mehs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones, handling people's data is proving an immersive experience, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, and the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Keslataria's national animal is the Sloth, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Passisivism.

Keslataria is ranked 270,756^th in the world and 5,598^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -246.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.