The Republic of Land of Mari is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Vance Guy with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.301 billion Land of Marians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Annapaltimore. The average income tax rate is 98.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Land of Marian economy, worth a remarkable 1,231 trillion Old Bays a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 195,416 Old Bays, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles, the overhead luggage compartment is often full, and badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. Crime is totally unknown. Land of Mari's national animal is the Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Land of Mari is ranked 17,476^th in the world and 381^st in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91.96 law-abiding acts per hour.