The Kingdom of Holy Free is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Trinal XI with an even hand, and notable for its enslaved workforce, public floggings, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 9.194 billion Holy Freeans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lordinia. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Holy Freean economy, worth a remarkable 1,100 trillion Freeses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Furniture Restoration and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 119,712 Freeses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, those who turn the other cheek seem to enjoy being slapped just a little too much, a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, and crimes are difficult to stop as most of the police force is stuck in traffic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Free's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Holsanism.

Holy Free is ranked 32,792^nd in the world and 759^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.13 law-abiding acts per hour.