The United Socialist States of Azmenistanian is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Joseph anaruc with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.021 billion Azmenistanianians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xastorph. The average income tax rate is 65.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Azmenistanianian economy, worth 103 trillion Azmen Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 101,099 Azmen Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds, the nation's police officers are famously miserable-looking, the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced, and toddler groups have taken over local libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Azmenistanian's national animal is the maned Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Azmenistanian is ranked 24,202^nd in the world and 622^nd in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 43.14 flags saluted per person per day.